Deer Shitty

I've said it before, but never really meant it until now. Deer City's days are probably over. Being the psycho-analyst that I am, I've started thinking about what Deer City means to me. Why it has become such a consuming part of my life; occupying so many of my thoughts and influencing so many of my decisions. I'm starting to think that Deer City is more of a 'mask' than anything else. It sounds cliche, but it's completely true. When I look back on when Deer City was starting to take it's shape, I was in the midst of a major identity crisis. I think good ole Deer City was my solution. I built this character that I could hide behind. For a long time, my identity became Deer City. But thanks to books I've been reading, Buddhism, and a good friend of mine, I was able to abandon this alter-ego. Yes, I've left this character behind, but it leaves in its wake many other doubts.
Primarily, I see two ways of looking at it. I'll start with the bad. So, as I said before, I feel like Deer City has become more about the image. It's more about the cute boy in a suit singing about love than the music itself. I've known this all along, but have never come to grips with it. I think because I'm a horny teenager who was enjoying getting all the ladies. Who would want to put an end to that?? Now, the way I see it, there are two types of music. Music that you enjoy believe in (like John Lennon), and music that you just enjoy (like Paul McCartney). We listen to songs like "Imagine" because they are beautiful songs, but more so because the image that John creates, and the message that he sends are inspiring...we believe in it. We listen to "Maybe I'm Amazed" because it is also a beautiful song, it's message being love. But what song isn't about love these days? We are not moved by either song in the same way. I guess I'm tired of being an image of love. Tired of being an image of cute, teenager, and emotion. I want to make music that I believe in, not just enjoy.

This being said, Deer City is still fun. Pop music has a special place in my soul that makes me tick like no other style. Sure, I can do away with the antics and the suit, but must I radicalize the music? I suppose this is where I find myself conflicted. I have all those reasons for not wanting to be Deer City, but all the while it's still fun.
I half expected to arrive at an answer by the end of this post, but I am lost all the same. Although I have no idea what will happen, I can say with confidence that people will come to know a very different Deer City than what is current.

Peace and love!